When in doubt, eat cake
by Hoshiko13
Summary: Just a one-shot of what happens when Light tries to replace something he broke. . . And fails at doing so. Now with more one shots, Including Misa, Rem, and B.B!
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I do not own death note.

AN: Characters may be OOC. This is just part of a mini-series I'm making to test my skill at humor.

Light Yagami sat in the head quarters looking dejected. He couldn't believe the stupid mistake he had made. What did he do? Did he give away the secret about the death note? Leave a scrap of paper from the death note laying around so that someone picked it up and could see Ryuk? Give a clue about his being Kira? No, none of these happened. Instead he had made a very simple mistake.

He had destroyed Misa's doll.

Of course, it wasn't that he had purposely destroyed the damn thing. He had been in Misa's room, waiting for the Goth girl to get back from the store. As apparently she ran out of pens. The stupid blonde. He took a breath to calm himself. Just because the ditsy girl he was using for a pawn was unreliable didn't mean it was the end of the world. Yet.

Light began to pace. In reality, Misa hadn't been gone for five minutes. Light was too impatient with his next plot to murder L and not arouse suspicion to himself or Misa. While pacing he picked up a doll from the bed. A cross eyed doll that grinned evilly. Ryuk, who had been watching silently, broke in with his laugh.

"Hyuk Hyuk Hyuk, Light's playing with dolls." Stupid annoying shinigami. Light threw the doll at him, knowing it would just go through him. What he didn't know was the shinigami had been standing in front of the window. When Ryuk stepped out of the way to show this, light peered out the window. Misa's apartment was five stories up. He sighed and began to go check and see if the doll was still down there.

There was good news and bad news. The good news was the doll was there. The bad news was that his throw had landed it in the middle of the street. He sighed as his shinigami laughed. Now he would have to go in the middle of a busy street to get Misa's stupid--

The doll had gotten hit by a truck. Now it was just stuffing in the breeze. Light walked back upstairs cussing the truck and the doll. A couple of minutes after he had returned to the room, Misa came in with the bad of pens.

"Misa-Misa is back!" She announced. Light forced himself to smile. Then he noticed the blonde looking around.

"Where is Misa-Misa's doll? Did Light-kun see it?" Light kept his face blank.

"No Misa. I haven't seen your doll." He had no qualms about lying to the girl. She was just a pawn.

"Misa hopes she isn't lost. Misa's parents gave the doll to her." Light nodded. He had to act the part, even here.

"I'm sure you'll find it. Now let's get to the plan. . ."

Light was jarred out of his remembrance by L.

"Light-kun, is something the matter?" He sighed and shook his head. He didn't need his enemy hearing about his mistakes.

"If you refuse to tell me, the chance that you may be Kira will go up by 2.5 percent." Light glanced at the detective.

"And how do you figure that?" L paused for a moment.

"You could be tired from killing. We still do not yet know how Kira kills, and it could be that it takes a great deal of energy." Light sighed. He didn't need this.

"If you must know, I broke something a friend of mine owned. I'm trying to figure out how to replace it." L nodded to show he understood.

"When in doubt, eat cake." The detective said, taking an immense bite of his own cake as he said it.

Light rolled his eyes. Like eating cake would help.

A few hours later, Light still hadn't found a replacement for the doll. He headed into his favorite café and sunk into the seat in the back. After a few moments a waitress came and handed him a menu.

"Would you care to try our special today sir? It is chocolate cake with a purring filling. Light thought back to what L had said. I couldn't do any harm could it? He ordered the cake and ate it quickly once it had arrived. Nothing happened, as expected. However as he was walking out the dorr a voice surprised him.

"Congratulations! You're the hundredth customer today, and have one the prize." Light had no idea what was going on. He vaguely remembered something about a give-away being held today, but he hadn't known much about what it was about.

"You have one. . . This doll!" With that the annoying man shoved a doll in his hands. Light's eyes widened in astonishment. It was an exact replica of the one he had destroyed!

Later that night, Light was arguing with Ryuk.

"Look, just go up there and put the stupid doll under her bed."

"Why should I?"

"Because if you don't, you won't get any apples for the rest of the month."

"I better get apples for this. . ." Ryuk said while glaring at the boy. He treated shinigami like dirt. Muttering something inaudible, he grabbed the doll and flew up through the floor. Placing the doll in a dark corner, he went back down to Light.

"Alright, I put the stupid doll under her bed." Light nodded, releaved to have that over with. Then he began the walk to the market to buy Ryuk the promised apples.

The next morning, Misa called him.

"Misa-misa found her doll! There was on strange thing about it though. . ." Light raised any eyebrow, something completely pointless over the phone.

"What was it?"

"Before Misa lost her doll, it had a star on the tag. Now it doesn't." Light face palmed himself. Misa heard this over the phone.

"Light. . .Did you just hit yourself?" In answer he hung up the phone. Ryuk floated over head, laughing quietly. He had seen the star on the tag. Now maybe if Light hadn't threatened his apples he would have told him, but for now he would let him sweat it out. Humans were so amusing.


	2. Chapter 2: Light's a gay!

Disclaimer: I don't own Death Note, or any of the charecters. Alright already?

Light's a gay.

Misa smiled and wrote in her notebook, not her death note, a regular non-killing notebook. Light had asked her to practice writing in english, in case the sitation ever called for it. The girl wasn't yet sure just how it would call for it, but Light had told her to be prepared. Then they would be that much closer to ridding the world of evil.

The girl was writing Light's name. She needed something to write, and as that was what she was writing at the moment. Poems and songs filled the pages before that. With a sigh, the girl dropped the notebook on the table and streched, it was late. Just as she was settling down, she heard Rem, the shinigami that followed her, mutter to her self.

"Oops." The shingami had said as she floated through the table, having hit the notebook and made it tumble to the ground. Misa laughed. "Rem! You knocked over my notebook. The gothic girl was just going to pick it up when she glanced in the mirror. It looked. . . No way!

She hurridly picked up the notebook and wrote Light's last name. backwards. She added slashes. How could he not have told her! Misa angrily picked up her phone and called Light.

"Moshi moshi?" After a few minutes of screaming at him, she started crying.

"Liiiiighttttttt. Why didn't you tell me?! We could have just been friends! Y-you didn't have to lie to me!" The confused killer had barely asked "What?" before Misa told him why she was calling.

"You're gay! Your last name backwards is imagay! How could you not tell me? I never want to talk to you again!" She slammed the phone down. Stupid Light. How could he? The girl had switched back to anger, being semi bipolar, and she picked up her Death Note. In larger letters she wrote

'Light Yagami' It was sooooooo tempting to write 'Light Imagay' but that wouldn't have done anything. Then she through her killer notebook on her bed and left the room, going to the bathroom to fix her makeup.

Rem smirked. Her plan had worked to perfection. . .


	3. Chapter 3: Beyond's death

Disclaimer: I do not own Beyond Birthday. Even if he is now my favorite human death note character.

Chapter 3: Beyond's death.

Beyond Birthday sat in his jail cell, thinking, as he often did. He had failed. The one thing he had set out to do, and he had failed. Failed to beat L, and avenge A, the only one who ever cared about him.

The man sighed, and rolled over onto the bed, staring at the scars from his attempted suicide. She had been so close. If only ha hadn't under estimated the FBI Agent. But if only would get him no where. So he thought, remembering his past, when he was with A. She had been the only one he had liked, the only one he hadn't wanted to stay and not leave. But it was to much pressure for the girl, and she had killed herself.

Even now, he wished he was dead. He had been sentenced to life in prison, to sit and remember his past, but never able to do anything. He had nothing he could use to ease the pain. Nothing to end it. Sometimes he wished, as he did now, that he was dead.

Suddenly, the Killer felt something. Pain, burning pain in his chest. He clutched it and gasped, wincing as the pain worsened. Then he realized. _Kira, _he thought, _Thank you. _Then all he knew was blackness.

He felt himself waking, slowly. He blinked his eyes open, and gasped when he saw the face in front of him. It was a monster, there was no other explanation. It was tall, and creepy. It looked like a giant worm. The thing looked at him, with eyes he realized were hollow, and spoke in a low, rough, voice.

"So this is the human who found my eyes. Interesting what you have become." B.B Looked down at himself, to see he could be called a monster himself. His skin was blood red, and he wore a loose pair of black pants. Also, he realized, was that he looked like he had been stretched out. He was taller, and thin. The man carefully felt his face. It was change to, it felt perfectly round, like a globe. He spoke, wincing as a harsh grating noise sounded.

"Where am I?" The strange worm creature laughed/

"In the shinigami realm of course. You are a shinigami now, because of the eyes." Beyond nodded. Then stood up, shaking. He could feel something between his shoulders, and reaching back he felt a pair of wings. He turns his head and examined them. Blood red, and seeming to be sewn from patches of flesh, the fit perfectly onto his body. The worm shinigami was saying something about a note book, but B.B didn't want to hear. He jumped in the air and spread his wings, flying above the shinigami realm. _This, _he thought, _Might not be so bad. _

_Then, with a dark chuckle, he went to visit the human realm. He would need some jam._

_A/N Done. Tell me what you think, I just had this idea and thought it might be interesting. Have at it._


End file.
